Satire

Humour is a way of dealing with the many ridiculous teachings and challenges we Ex-Muslims face. It is not surprise that this overlaps with all the other pages.

Expression of love

They can express their love in the open, but in a secular or liberal country. Why is this expression of love forbidden in our countries? What is wrong with it? I can answer that. Islam does not see love as an expression of partnership. Muhammad’s marriages are not based on love. They are political arrangements, business deals, and sexual list.. NEVER based on love. Anyone who says otherwise, does not understand Seerat Al Nabi (story of Muhammad).

Take the Quran, the word love is NEVER mentioned once. One translation is found but only in the context of “don’t love..the enemies” Yes, take a look. But Nikah is mentioned 20 times. Nikah (نكاح) in Arabic Translated as f@&k – yes. It is so embarrassing, Urdu and many translations decided to replace it with the word “marriage” but open any online or offline Arabic translation and check it. Make sure it is Arabic to English translation.

So in Islam, Nikah Contract or the contract of two people getting together is in fact contract to f@&k! It is that simple. Islam does not factor love into it. When Muhammad did his Nikah Contract with A’isha, he was in effect agreeing to f@&k her at age of 6. That is why the Authentic Hadith, in at least five times, makes the point that Muhammad waited 3 years and showed patience. Oooh…so cute! 🥺🥺🥺 Muhammad (FBI be upon him) is an example for us all.

Quran morally & scientifically superior!

We already discussed scientific errors in the Quran (Check our other section on Science). What about morality? Well the Quran and Hadith have a lot to answer, but specifically three topic are hard to defend: Slavery, Women War Bounty, and no minimum age of marriage for girls – (Check our morality section).

Whatever way you try to put it, it was very easy for Allah to say “Haram” in stages three times in the Quran – but no space to speak about these things? Quran had space to speak about pork being Haram twice, but nothing on minimum age for girls to get married???

Let’s briefly look into these but more in the links below: – Slavery: “Allah sets forth the Parable (of two men: one) a slave under the dominion of another; He has no power of any sort; and (the other) a man on whom We have bestowed goodly favors from Ourselves, and he spends thereof (freely), privately and publicly: are the two equal? (By no means;) praise be to Allah. But most of them understand not.” Quran 16:75

” And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing SLAVE woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing SLAVE is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you…” Quran 2:221 https://quran.com/2/221

– Women War Bounty: Called” ملك اليمين” or what your right hand possess, refers to wives, daughters, and sisters of tribes that lost to Muhammad during the early invasions. All men and boys with public hair used to executed, some as young as 12 years old. Their women, mothers, sisters, and daughters be distributed among the majahidine as Gana’em (bounty). The Qur’an so oblivious to immorality of this practice, mentions them four times, suggesting that men are allowed four wives and as many (What their right hand possesses!!)
“And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].” Quran 4:3

But do not despair, the Quran had space to mention this again in Quran 33:50; 23:5-6, 70:27-30, 4:24,.
– No minimum age of marriage for girls: the Quran in one of its verses conditions to marriage as following:
” And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women – if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] those who have *not menstruated*….” Quran 65:4

What you still believe Islam is morally superior? Why not read more:
https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Qur%27an,_Hadith_and_Scholars:Slavery
https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Concerns_with_Islam:_Sexual_Slavery_in_Islam
https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Aishas_Age_of_Consummation

Allah: Before and After

Allah makes the universe in 6 days, we have to take your word for it even though science says “absolutely no way”…
Allah makes mountains and rivers….
Allah makes man from clay and woman from a rib…
Allah makes animals from… We don’t know.. Okay whatever
… Many generations later….
Allah gets angry destroys towns and villages…
Allah sends diseases when cursing…
Allah sends floods and thunderstorms…
…. Many generations later when humans learn more about the working of things
Allah shows his power on a melon or some oddly shaped fruit!!! S.

ZamZam Water is a miracle water!

The Well of Zamzam (زمزم) is a well located within the Masjid al-Haram in Mecca, Saudi Arabia, 20 meters (66 feet) east of the Ka’aba, the holiest place in Islam. The well is 35 meters deep and topped by an elegant dome.

Millions of Muslims visit the well each year while performing the Hajj or Umrah pilgrimages, in order to drink its water and, in many cases, to take home some of its water for distribution among friends and relations believing the well and the water which it pumps to be miraculous.

In October 2005, the British Food Standards Agency issued warnings against “fraudulent” Zamzam water being commercially sold which contained dangerous levels of arsenic (over three times the legal limit recommended by the World Health Organization).

In May 2011, a BBC investigation found that genuine Zamzam water taken DIRECTLY from the well contained arsenic levels three times the legal limit, something which could contribute to increasing people’s risk of cancer. Arsenic poisoning is caused by increased levels of the element arsenic in the body. Symptoms of arsenic poisoning include headaches, confusion, sleepiness, convulsions, vomiting, diarrhea, kidney, liver and lung problems, and can even result in coma or death. In addition to the dangerous arsenic levels, the holy water contained high levels of nitrate and potentially harmful bacteria.

Saudi Arabian authorities insisted a sample **they** sent to French labs show normal level of arsenic! Yeah right. Like who are they fooling.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-13267205

Allah who created the universe, cares when you fart!

This is not the only ridiculous stuff we see in the Quran and Hadith… Try to workout the logic of why an Almighty creator of the universe will care about things like : Don’t drink from green or white jars:

The Prophet forbade the use of green jars.” I said, “Shall we drink out of white jars?” He said, “No.” Sahih Bukhari 7:69:501

Apparently Redbull is not the only drink to give you wings:
The Prophet said “If a housefly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease.” Sahih Bukhari 4:54:537

Allah likes sneeze dislike yawn: (Atcho!! 🤧) The Prophet said, “Allah likes sneezing and dislikes yawning, so if someone sneezes and then praises Allah, then it is obligatory on every Muslim who heard him, to say: May Allah be merciful to you (Yar-hamuka-l-lah). But as regards yawning, it is from satan, so one must try one’s best to stop it, if one says ‘Ha’ when yawning, satan will laugh at him.” Sahih Bukhari 8:73:242

Spit to the left, not the right!! The Prophet said, “A good dream that comes true is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan, so if anyone of you sees a bad dream, he should seek refuge with Allah from Satan and should spit on the left, for the bad dream will not harm him.” Sahih Bukhari 9:87:115

This and other completely ridiculous Hadiths are found here: https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Qur%27an,_Hadith_and_Scholars:Islamic_Silliness

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