101 Reasons Why We Left Islam – Chapter 2: Women in Islam – Reason 7
If knowing that someone who represents the symbol of your moral conduct is a person who married a child of 6 and slept with her at the age of 9 is not bad enough, you find an unbelievable number of excuses that we get from apologists that completely seals this as a made up justification for a person who is less than perfect. This is one of the few sections that we start with the apologists’ excuses and justifications and then we present our counterarguments.
Apologists Excuses:
Excuses 7.1. This is normal back then. Christian sources, for example, say Mary married Joseph at age 12. In today’s standards, Mary would be considered a child. So, why is this a problem?
Our Response: Several issues here. First of all, the Christian sources do not mention the age of Mary and there is a strong belief she would have been 16 if not 18. But even if we are to take your best number as 12, this is still double the age of Aisha’s. And still older than the age when Aisha had sexual intercourse! Second, our Muslim sources confirm that even after Mary got married, she remained a virgin. So, Joseph, who is no prophet of Allah, lived some 700 years before the Prophet had recognised Mary was still not fit for sex. This speaks volume about the character of an ordinary person compared to the character of a Prophet! Third, many ExMuslims are not Christians and therefore, they do not see this as a valid comparison.
Excuses 7.2. Throughout history, there are Christian, Jewish, Hindu, and noblemen who married underage girls. You cannot judge the Prophet based on that.
Our Response: These kings and nobles are not prophets of Allah where the Qur’an states
Quran 33:21 “Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example for whoever has hope in Allah and the Last Day…”
These men could be faulted because they are no excellent example to follow, they are not immune from making mistakes. But when a verse comes down stating a person is the ‘excellent example’ – you have to ask and wonder, why there was no follow up explanation that made the age of marriage clearer to avoid misunderstanding – refer to Reason 6.
Excuses 7.3. “It was okay in his time.” You cannot judge a historical figure by today’s standards. This is called ‘Presentism’. No one objected to his marriage at the time. So, it is wrong of you to judge him by today’s standards.
Our response: Again, goes back to the same response to Excuses 7.2. How can Allah make anyone an “Excellent example” for us, and he goes and marries a child and sleeps with her. You would have had a point had there been a clause that said on the matter of marriage, you do not necessarily follow the Prophet. Or if there was no verse 33:21 that made him the excellent example to follow. And even more, if there was no verse 65:4 that allowed divorce of girls who did not menstruate – rendering them underaged!
Excuse 7.4. Girls back then matured younger because of the weather and the harsh environment. People died young and there is academic evidence that under stress, girls reach maturity earlier. This would have been common back then.
Our Response: Unless girls were growing like bamboo, a six year old back then would be as mature (if not less mature) than a six year old now. There is no scientific or medical evidence that humans evolved this fast and worse more “reverse evolved” when Islam does not even accept the concept of evolution. But to show that this does not make sense, in Reason 6 we presented several Hadiths that categorically state Aisha was still playing with dolls. The Hadiths, as if to make a point, include commentary that only girls who did not reach puberty were allowed to play with dolls. So, no, girls back then did not fast grow into womanhood by age of 6 or 9. Aisha was still playing with dolls when she moved into the Prophet’s home and he had sex with her, indicating reaching puberty is or maturity was not a requirement.
Excuses 7.5. This was just for the Prophet, no one else. In fact, when it came to the Prophet’s own daughter, Fatima, he waited till she was 18. Even when the great companions Omar and Abu Bakr indicated their interest in marrying Fatima, the Hadiths shows the Prophet refused because she was young. The Prophet waited till she was 18. As such, we can assume the issue of underage marriages is linked to him and only him.
Our Response: When something was only open to the Prophet, there was a verse to that effect. For example, Quran 33:50 gave the Prophet the right to marry “any woman who offers herself to him…AND ONLY HIM“. This bypassed other men who were only allowed a maximum of four wives. In fact, as if to debunk this argument completely, we showed in Reason 6 that Quran 65:4 talks about divorcing girls who have not menstruated yet. So, rather than having any indications in the Quran or Hadith that this is for the Prophet and the Prophet only, we get the opposite indication that this is for everyone!
Final Thoughts
However, you try to rationalize it, Islam exposed it self to be a man made religion when it gave a green light to many old men to marry underage girls. Islam made it not only alright to marry and sleep with underage girls but that it was a duty in some way to emulate the Prophet who is the ‘excellent example’ to follow. This makes Islam even worse in the sense that even men who may not have had tendencies or interest in sex with underage girls become inclined to do so. This made it harder for people to speak against underage child marriages because they would be accused of blasphemy! This issue has had unimaginable suffering and even deaths of girls who were not ready for marriage or sex at such young age. But you will see that many Muslims are better than Islam. The reason why we hear excuses such 7.3, 7.4, and 7.5 is because these have a sub-text theme of ‘it was ok for the Prophet but not anymore’. Muslims saw the horror of underage marriages in their communities. No one wants to see their daughter, sister, or niece suffer or die. That is why not one single Islamic country has age of marriage anything under 12. In fact, many have the minimum age of marriage as 16 but you still get them defending this ugly act simply because they cannot face the reality accusing their Prophet of acting inappropriately.