101 Reasons Why We Left Islam – Chapter 2: Women in Islam – Reason 6
Reason #6: Underage marriages in Islam
While this is “the” most talked about reason for leaving Islam, apologists have been extremely creative in responding to it and thus this is incomplete until you also read Reason #7 that addresses the numerous reasons and excuses. So let us get started.
And there are two issues here. First, the Quran does not set a minimum age of marriage. In fact, it suggests that men can divorce females before they menstruate – this means before puberty. If men are able to divorce girls who have not menstruated yet, then automatically this means they can marry a girl that has not menstruated yet.
In chapter 65, the Quran sets the conditions to when to have intercourse with women you marry after a woman is divorced. It is intended to ensure that the child you get from her is yours. We strongly recommend you read it from the start so as they don’t accuse us of being ‘selective’ in our interpretation. https://previous.quran.com/65 Our focus is verse 4 where it says:
“And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women – if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] *those who have not menstruated* ….” Quran 65:4
Feel free to check all the Tafsers (explanations) that refer to underage girls!
https://quran.com/65:4/tafsirs/ar-tafsir-ibn-kathir
And then comes many *authentic* Hadith about the age of Aisha at marriage.
- Narrated Hisham’s father: Khadija died three years before the Prophet departed to Medina. He stayed there for two years or so and then he married ‘Aisha when she was a girl of six years of age, and he consumed that marriage when she was nine years old. (Bukhari 3896) https://sunnah.com/bukhari:3896
- Narrated ‘Aisha: that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old, and then she remained with him for nine years (i.e., till his death). Bukhari (5134) https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5134
- Narrated ‘Aisha: I used to play with the dolls in the presence of the Prophet, and my girl friends also used to play with me. When Allah’s Apostle used to enter (my dwelling place) they used to hide themselves, but the Prophet would call them to join and play with me. (The playing with the dolls and similar images is forbidden, but it was allowed for ‘Aisha at that time, as she was a little girl, not yet reached the age of puberty.) Bukhari 6130 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:6130
I hear you say, this is Bukhari, maybe he is a liar!! Here is Sahih Muslim:
- ‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) married me when I was six years old, and I was admitted to his house when I was nine years old.’ Muslim (1422b) https://sunnah.com/muslim:1422b
- ‘A’isha reported that Allah’s Apostle (PBUH) married her when she was seven years old, and he was taken to his house as a bride when she was nine, and her dolls were with her; and when he (the Holy Prophet) died she was eighteen years old. Muslim 1422c https://sunnah.com/muslim:1422c
Maybe Bukhari and Muslim are both liars, right? All the other sources agreed the same thing: Sunan Abi Majid, Sunan Abi Majah, Sunan Abu Dawud
https://sunnah.com/search?q=Aisha+age+six
In total, there is 41 Hadith relating to 12 different narrations of the same thing: Aisha being either 6 or 7 at time of marriage but being 9 when the intercourse took place.
The most detailed account is a chapter in Sunan Abi Majah titled: Marriage of minor girls arranged by their fathers: https://sunnah.com/ibnmajah:1876
After scholars struggled with this issue, especially the rate of little girls dying during their first night of marriage, some kept digging until they found a twisted analysis that suggests because of the age of Aisha’s sister and time of Hijrah, Aisha must have been 18. Does this strike you as dis-ingenuine to dismiss all these many Hadiths, and even the Quran to fix an issue that is clearly evident in Islam!
Traditionalists and Islamists have no problem with the issue of underage marriages because it puts the power in the man’s hands and puts a woman in her traditional place as a servant to the man. The younger the girls are pushed in that direction, the less likely they will have issues later in adjusting to the slave-like role that Islam prescribes for them. As clearly explained in the introduction, we are not addressing them here.
Issue 6.1. Sensible and educated people, including a mass amount of medical research, can see the biological and psychological harm that comes from underage marriages of girls. So, to those with knowledgeable understanding of these issues, how can you justify a religion that supposedly is perfect, yet explicitly allowing underage marriages? How can this perfect religion not recognize but rather give the approval for a severe form of child abuse?
Apologists Response:
Issue 6.1: This is one of Islam’s most misunderstood issues. First, much of the Hadith was collected some 200 years after Muhammad had died. Thus, they are open to mistakes and misinterpretation. Some may even say that enemies of Islam, at the time, injected these disgusting Hadiths to damage Islam. Quran 65:4 is not talking about girls. It is talking about women who cannot have menstrual cycle or are too old and no longer have menstrual cycles. Therefore, it is a misinterpretation. The Quran and Hadith agree that no harm should affect women when getting married, during pregnancy, and makes sure her wellbeing is protected.
>> Our response: First of all, you need to read the verse Quran 65:4 carefully to notice that in the first part it already addresses those who do not have menstrual cycle (on the grounds of being old). But in the next part, the Quran emphasis, is clear to include those who have not menstruated – this includes (and does not exclude) young girls.
“And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women – if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] *those who have not menstruated* ….” Quran 65:4
The Tafsir, the Islamic sources that we relied on for 1400 years, clearly states this is to do with underage girls. The Tafsirs in all its forms uses the term ‘underage girl’.
Second, if we were to be selective the way you are with the Hadith, you would be the first to point it out. The Sunnah is one of the key pillars of Islam. The Quran says to pray, but only the Hadiths explains how to pray. The Quran says to perform Hajj, but only the Hadith explains how to perform the Hajj. The Quran says to fast Ramadan, but only the Hadith explains how to fast, and the different rules associated with it. So, it is odd that moderates would go as far as throw the whole Hadith under the bus when faced with something embarrassing.
Final Thoughts:
We all see our daughters, sisters, neighbours, nieces, and friends growing up. Look out when they 6 years old. That is around the age where they just started to learn additions and subtractions, and just about completed memorised the alphabets. How can anyone think that a girl of that age can make a live decision as to marry a 20 year old man let alone a 50-year-old man! And if we are to take the Prophet’s best example and wait till the girl is 9 to have sex with her, have you seen what a nine year old looks like? If you have a daughter or a sister, you would be blind not to notice that they are still little girls. Their body is not fit to carry a child and in absolute cases they are breastless – meaning they cannot even breast feed a child!
In the next section, we address the many excuses by apologist who accepted the overwhelming evidence that Islam permitted underage sex but sought to find another way around it.