101 Reasons Why We Left Islam – Chapter 2: Women in Islam – Reason 16
In chapter 4, ironically called the chapter of ‘women’, the Quran outlines for men what to do with women, how many to marry, how to marry them, making the dowry payment, how to own women as slaves, who not to marry…etc –many of the earlier sections, you will see regular reference to chapter 4. As you read, you get to the point where the all-knowing and all-wise Allah outlines how to discipline one’s wife:
Qur’an 4:34:
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
— Sahih International translation
https://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=4&verse=34
This must be the most ‘covered up’ verse you would ever find in the Quran. Why? Because there are so many attempts to cover up or lessen the term ‘strike them’ but as the link above shows six most accurate translations of this verse the word used is while keeping in mind anything in brackets is not in the verse but added by the translators:
- Sahih International: “…strike them.”
- Pickhall: “…scourge them.”
- Yusuf Ali: “…beat them (lightly)”
- Shakir: “…beat them;”
- Muhammad Sarwar: “…beat them.”
- Mohsin Khan: “…beat them (lightly, if it is useful),”
- Arberry: “…beat them.”
Out of the seven translations, five used ‘beat them’. The other two used ‘strike them’ and ‘scourge them’, YET Quran.com adopts a translation that says “…then discipline them (gently).” No one said this. Even Quran.com does not show who was behind this new translation!
The word for anyone who wants to check it against any dictionary you want, is وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ which translates as ‘hit them or beat them’ – This never translates as anything less.
Al Azhar, Egypt and Arabs highest Islamic authority fatwa on hitting women is acceptable, but do not break bones! Here it is reported in the Arabic news: https://m.elwatannews.com/news/details/5930482
Feel free to use Google Translate, if you are not Arab.
Keep in mind, Egypt Al Azhar authority is considered a moderate Islamic authority compared to some of the others! So, why would they say this? Because the Tafsir and Hadith both agree that beating women who act arrogantly, even if it is the last resort.
In the aftermath of verse 4:34, men had free hand in beating their women –something that does not seem to have been the norm before Islam. Aisha commented on a woman who was so badly beaten that her skin was greener than her green clothes by saying:
- “I have not seen any women suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!”
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5825
This Hadith is significant. A woman marries a man, but she does not want him. She wants to go back to her first husband who wants her back. She seeks the Prophet of mercy to annul her marriage and stop her husband beating her, showing Aisha the severity of the beating! You find the Prophet not telling off the husband for what he has done but arguing that his wife needs to ‘sleep’ with him to fulfil her Nikah before she can go back to her first husband. To which she explains he has erectile dysfunction and is not able to complete the contract. But the husband explains he has had children from earlier marriage, so what does the Prophet of mercy say? He accuses her of lying and sends her back to her abusive husband. Anyone knows that erectile dysfunction can happen at any time in a man’s life, even if a man has had children before. She may have been telling the truth and if she was lying desperately to get out of the marriage, surely this is enough reason to annul the marriage and avoid marital rape! Marital rape is not a concept understood in 7th century Arabia and you would find most Islamists in 21st century do not understand it or accept it.
Things were getting out of hand as verse 4:34 had legalised domestic violence to a whole new level. We can see that in the Hadith:
Iyas bin ‘Abdullah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
- Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Do not beat Allah’s bondwomen.” When ‘Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) came to Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and complained saying: “The women have become very daring towards their husbands,” He (ﷺ) gave permission to beat them. Then many women went to the family of the Messenger of Allah (wives) complaining of their husbands, and he (the Prophet (ﷺ)) said, “Many women have gone round Muhammad’s family complaining of their husbands. Those who do so, that is, those who take to beating their wives, are not the best among you”. [Abu Dawud, with a Sahih chain].
https://sunnah.com/riyadussalihin:279
The damage control continues as Aisha weights in to lessen the violence women were experiencing.
It was narrated that ‘Aishah said:
- “The Messenger of Allah never beat any of his servants, or wives, and his hand never hit anything.”
https://sunnah.com/ibnmajah:1984
The Prophet may have realised the verse left a terrible loophole in which even Aisha who had grown up among pagans, Christian, and even Jewish women – had never seen women suffer as much as the believing women! It is from this Hadith and few other similar Hadiths that the translators (and Arabic commentators) started to add in brackets the term ‘lightly’.
Issue 16.1: Having seen the huge impact of Quran 4:34, the Prophet could not rewrite the verse as this would expose him as the actual author of the Quran. So, he resorted to damage control and ‘lessening’ the impact of the verse. Even 1400 years later, Quran.com continues to cover this verse because of the huge damage it has caused for women across the globe. Women are humans, not children, or animals – which even now we know violence is not an effective disciplinary measure– so how can an all-knowing and all-wise god write this in His eternal book!
Issue 16.2: Any claims that before Islam women were treated worse and that Islam came about to protect and honour women is completely debunked here! Aisha’s words sum up how women before Islam were treated and she would have been a witness to that.
Issue 16.3: The author of this verse must be a man and not an all-knowing god. The outline of the steps does not include ‘listen to their views, talk to them, use empathy, and reconcile’ – the first step is to ‘advise them!’ The authority of a dictator starts from step one. And then ‘forsake them in bed’ – are you joking here? Anyone who has had an argument with his wife knows it is SHE who will kick him out of the bedroom. This is no punishment for the woman but for the man. You can tell this is the way a man thinks of punishment – assert authority, withhold something they like, and then violence.
Apologist Excuses:
Issue 16.1: You focus on the last step whereas there is a process that follows through. Women aware of the last step push their luck if they do not engage in a fair and honest way to resolve whatever issue her husband. The wording of the Quran is always open to interpretation whereby sometimes the word may be used in certain ways but means something different in the context of another conversation. Translators have the right to use the most accurate way to describe a word, even if it does not match the current standalone translation of the word. Your suggestion that the Prophet tried to lessen this later is not proven by any given timeline. The Hadith is not presented in a timeline but narrations that mostly presented by topic and not timeline. So, the timeline you present is speculative.
>> Our response: There is no timeline as well in the Quran for the process of disciplining a woman. An argument can result in beating within few minutes of starting and here is how. He is not happy, he advises her, she tells him to fuk-off! He tells her that because he is being arrogant, he is not going to sleep with her tonight, she laughs in his face on how ridiculous this sounds. She does not want him in her bed today…and BOOM: the first hit comes along. If she really pissed him off, he could beat the hell out of her in that moment of rage. What do you know, that took less than 2 mins to escalate to violence! You think in that moment of anger a man is going to stop and think about the words in ‘brackets.’
Issue 16.2: You are misrepresenting Aisha’s personal views as historical facts. She was young and her views are anecdotal evidence based on personal views. Not necessarily factual. Having parameters for discipline where the man is the breadwinner and guardian of the home removes any confusion who has that right. Women were given many rights that were not present before Islam.
>> Our response: Aisha’s words are one of the few historical facts we can find that point to how women were treated before Islam. It is consistent with what we know about Khadijah (Prophet first wife) who was wealthy and independent businesswoman. It is also consistent with how women’s rights changed dramatically after Islam. Where are women leaders, women philosophers, even women poets and writers in Islam? They are outnumbered 2 billion to 1. The only right that women were given is to be owned by their male guardians with limited space to breath.
Issue 16.3: If you continue reading, verse 4:35 suggest ways to reconciliation whereby mediator from his and her family are appointed to resolve any issues. If the Quran is man made for men, as you claim, why is it allowing the woman’s wife to be party for any reconciliation? Surely, it will be the man and the man only.
>> Our response: The verse 4:35 talks when separation or split becomes a possibility. This does not talk about day to day activity. And including the wife’s parents is only so she has representation. And you forget that only male members of her family will represent her, with the view of ‘keep her with her husband, we don’t want her back!’ This comes with financial and reputations costs that her family do not want. That is the man-made world of Islam.
Final Thought:
Would it shock you to read that the author of the Quran has empathy to females when it says in two places: Quran 11:64 and 7:73
“…do her no harm, or a swift punishment will overtake you!”
“So leave her…on Allah’s land and do not harm her, or else you will be overcome by a painful punishment.”
How beautiful these verses and full of empathy, right? Only they are not for women. They are for female Camels! Makes you think how the author of the Quran had more compassion to female camels than female humans!